prairie dawn

I need chocolate

2008-07-15T08:33:00.002-05:00

You're nice and intelligent and I don't want to date you.

How am I supposed to deal with attitudes like that? I think I'm done with dating, at least for a while. I just can't take the heartache anymore. What's the point?

a day late and a dollar short

2008-06-18T19:57:00.001-05:00

Congratulations Rachel and Daniel! Charlotte Amelie is precious. I can't tell you how happy I am for you. :o)

new job

2008-05-18T17:31:00.001-05:00

Well it's been a week on the new job. It's even better than I imagined. In addition to learning my new duties, I am encouraged by my clinicians (the doctors in charge) to sit in on lectures and rounds. We discuss current cases, previous cases, studies published in journals and anything pertaining to cardiology. I am soaking it all in and it is wonderful.
My clinicians as well as my resident are all Italian. They worry about their accents but I love it! I am starting to think in an Italian accent though, which is a little worrying. ;o)

update!

2008-04-27T00:59:00.002-05:00

Hi!

I know, I know...it's been a while. But I was waiting until I had something to report and now I do!

Starting May 12 I will be Kansas State University Veterinary Teaching Hospital's cardiology technician. The cardiology service consists of 2 veterinary cardiologists (oddly both are from Italy), myself, a resident or intern and whichever students have elected to take a cardiology rotation. I am going to learn so much; I'm very excited! And once I get a handle on my new skills, I'll be teaching them to the veterinary students and that is even more exciting!
Instead of working nights, weekends and holidays I will be working Monday through Friday 8-5 with no weekends and no on call time. It's going to be nice to join the rest of the world again.

I'm getting about a dollar per hour increase over what I'm earning now, plus State benefits. My doctors are going to help me become certified as a specialist in internal medicine. I've been wanting to specialize for some time, but it's pretty much impossible in private practice.

I'll be commuting for a little while, but I hope to find a house to buy in one of the small towns in the Flint Hills near Manhattan. There are a number of them and the cost of living there is quite a bit less than in Manhattan. With the salary increase and better benefits I have some hope of fulfilling a lifelong dream of mine in the near future. But we'll talk about that later.

Christy, Youth Pastor?

2008-02-13T00:01:00.003-06:00

Last week I decided to stay in Topeka. Tonight my pastor asked me consider applying to be my church's part-time youth pastor. This is something I really want to do and I'm very excited by the prospect! But...I need to slow down a little and give the idea some prayerful consideration before I commit.

Well that's interesting.

2008-02-04T13:17:00.000-06:00

I applied for a teaching position at a vet tech school in St. Louis a couple of weeks ago. I hadn't heard anything, so I just thought they weren't interested. That happens. This morning I got a call and an email about my availability for an interview.
This could be very interesting. I love teaching. I always find someone to mentor wherever I'm at. I actually started my college career as an education major. That changed because, even though I like working with teens, I don't enjoy them so much in packs. Especially in the forced confinement of a high school setting. An Associate's Degree program, however...
I'll have to have a look around, and also see what they're offering in terms of salary and benefits. I already checked and they are fully accredited.

2008-02-04T02:05:00.000-06:00

Well, it has been a while hasn't it?

Let's see, where were we? Mr. Wonderful turned out not to be. The dates we went on were wonderful, magical and everything a girl could wish. And then he stopped calling or taking my calls. And yes he broke my heart, just a little. But I've never experienced a butterflies-in-the-stomach infatuation like that before. It was fun and it was exhilerating while it lasted and I don't regret the time I had with him.

I'm loving my job more than ever. Unfortunately, I don't know how long it's going to last. There are some indications that the hospital is not in a good place financially and the owner is having personal problems as well. I've been looking to buy a house and even completed a homebuyers class through the city. I want to put down roots and really settle down, I've spent all my adult life moving. So I've put my resume in at Hill's, which is a giant pet food corporation here in town. They have excellent benefits and are rumored to have equally excellent salaries for vet techs. I also put in an application to be a tech at the vet school in Lafeyette, Indiana (1.5-2 hours from Chicago). So even as I'm trying to secure a living here in Topeka, I've got one eye out for greener pastures elsewhere.

Rach, I'm so happy for you! I was thinking about treating myself to a trip to Chicago for my birthday in October. The baby should be old enough for short outings by then. I know you have work, but I imagine I can entertain myself pretty well. What do you think? Also, (this is a bribe, have no doubt) I am an excellent baby-sitter. Nanny duty in exchange for sleeping on your couch? Sound tempting?

prayers

2007-11-13T23:11:00.000-06:00

I just got a couple of new prayers at bible study today and thought they were worth sharing:

A Modern Prayer--with Gratitude to St. Francis
Jene Miller

O Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace,

that where there is complacency,
I may disturb

that where there is disturbance,
I may discipline

that where there is indifference,
I may speak judgement

that where there is guilt,
I may speak acceptance

that where there is dehumanization,
I may demand justice

that where there is compromise,
I may demand righteousness

lest men should settle for the peace the world gives

grant, O Divine Savior

that I shall not seek to be popular,
but to be faithful

that I shall not call Thee acceptable to men,
but call men to be acceptable to Thee

that I shall not judge the worth of men by things,
but judge the worth of things by human need

that I shall not be impressed by human titles
but respect quality of character

that I shall not seek the holiness of beauty
but seek the beauty of holiness

that I shall not call only my friends "brother"
but shall call my enemies "brother"

for Thy kingdom, alone, is eternal Amen

For Courage to Do Justice
Alan Paton, South Africa

O Lord,
open my eyes that I may see the needs of others
open my ears that I may hear their cries
open my heart so that they need not be without succor
let me not be afraid to defend the weak because of the anger of the strong
nor afraid to defend the poor because of the anger of the rich
show me where love and hope and faith are needed,
and use me to bring them to those places
and so open my eyes and my ears
that I may this coming day be able to do some work of peace for thee

Sci and Rach, that's odd that your emails aren't getting through. Try kansas_sky(at sign)hotmail.com

Ugh part tres

2007-10-29T19:46:00.000-05:00

Like all good trilogies, this one should wrap up the dangling threads of the previous 2 installments and restore the heroine to her rightful state of bliss, or at least contentedness.

Work: Last Saturday we had an emergency come in. A very sick cat stopped breathing as one of the Dr.s was examining her. So she was rushed into the treatment area and resuscitation measures begun. People, I intubated that cat without any light to see by and then I got a catheter in her tiny, collapsed vein. I'm not bragging when I say these are things only a skilled, experienced vet tech can do. It's just fact. To be honest, I'm a little amazed with myself.

Romance: The young man I was talking about in the last intallment (henceforth to be known as "M") emailed to apologize. Then he asked if we might meet again. If he were anyone else I wouldn't have bothered to respond. But I couldn't say no. And when offered 2 choices of times I chose the earlier one, even though I'm not usually up until an hour or so after said time. (it wasn't crazy early, I just sleep late due to my work schedule) I'm so infatuated with this man, I can barely think straight. Dear readers, those of you who pray, please...I need prayer all over this relationship. Either he is The One or he's really going to break my heart.

canine diabetes insipidus

2007-10-29T11:53:00.001-05:00

Well, we figured out what's going on with Sweetie. She's got a rare disorder called Diabetes Insipidus. I copied the following from vetinfo.com.

Diabetes Insipidus

Diabetes insipidus is a disorder in which the kidney is insensitive to a hormone, called anti-diuretic hormone (ADH) or in which there is not sufficient quantity of this hormone available. The result is excessive drinking and urination, or polydipsia and polyuria. This is one cause of changes in urinary habits that leads to problems with urination inside the house in dogs in which "housebreaking" seemed to be satisfactory prior to the disease onset.

ADH is secreted by the body when it has a need to conserve water. It makes the kidneys work harder to conserve water, which makes the urine more concentrated. When the dog can not respond to this hormone or doesn't make enough of it, the dog can not concentrate its urine. This can lead to serious problems, including death, if the dog does not have access to large quantities of water. On the other hand, it may not cause any significant problem if there is always plenty of water available. This problem can occur for a number of reasons and for no reason at all.

I'm not unhappy with this diagnosis. It's good to know what's going on with her, and not really that difficult to manage.

Ugh: part 2

2007-10-22T22:29:00.000-05:00

You know what, it's been a rotten couple of days.

I took my 11 year old pug to work with me yesterday to try and figure out why she's been drinking and urinating more than usual. All of the tests I ran on her were inconclusive. On the one hand that means that there's probably nothing drastically wrong. On the other hand, if I don't know what's wrong, I can't fix it either.

I lost a patient yesterday. He was in for a procedure to fix a problem that was making him sick. It was a procedure that had to be done, or else he wouldn't have survived for more than a couple more days. The anesthesia went well, and although the procedure was more complicated than usual, due to him being obese, it was ultimately successful. The doctor had stepped away, I had the patient on pure oxygen and was giving him fluids under the skin. And he just went into cardiac arrest. We did CPR on him for about a half an hour before we had to give up. Depressing and frustrating.

I thought I was going to have a 2nd date with this incredible guy tomorrow. I was so excited about this guy. I never let myself get excited about anyone, especially this early. But I did. We had a wonderful first date. He emailed last week asking when I'd like to meet again. I sent him a suggestion right away for tomorrow and I haven't heard from him since.

Then, of course, the paper from my last post. I thought I was completely prepared to write it. I'd read all the assignments, or so I thought. I'm a fairly confident writer and I had all day, so I wasn't really worried about getting it done today. Then this morning I just could not get out of bed. Wasted a good portion of the day. But I still had more than enough time, I thought. So I got my source materials out and sat down with the essay questions. Which asked me to draw heavily on a book I hadn't read. Somehow I missed that in the reading assignments. So I sat staring a the blinking curser for a while before I gave up. It's just not happening today, it's going to have to be late. What a great start to my second career.

A friend invited me over to her home today. I didn't really want to go, but I knew I needed to get out of the house. At the end of her driveway is a fire hydrant. Which I managed to back into. I jury-rigged it with the string from my hoodie, so I was able to drive home without my back bumper dragging on the road. This is going to cost me money I don't exactly have, because...

Before I went to Kevin's wedding I went to the office manager and asked to use up my personal days on this vacation. I planned my budget accordingly. Well, my paycheck did not have my personal days on it, just the one day that I'd worked before I left. I, very nicely, brought this to the office manager's attention. Still, nothing was done. And now my checking account is in the negative. My paycheck tomorrow morning had better be nice and fat. I have worked too hard to get my credit back in shape... Not to mention that I still owe Mom money for the dog kennel and my bumper is going to cost a fortune.

Ugh

2007-10-22T17:25:00.000-05:00

I have an essay due today which I've been largely ignoring because of Kevin's wedding. Now that I've actually sat down to write it, my brain is refusing to kick into gear.

if I could go right now...

2007-10-20T00:01:00.001-05:00

pic from Kevin's travel blog

2007-10-19T12:25:00.000-05:00

Kevin and Jess are keeping a travel blog. One of the hotels they're staying at in Singapore has a rooftop swimming pool...

Kevin's wedding

2007-10-16T14:53:00.000-05:00

birthday present!

2007-10-08T17:28:00.000-05:00

My parents got me a shiny new digital camera for an early birthday present! Which means lots of new pictures for my blog! Yay! (oh, how I pity you, dear readers)

Larry the beta says hello

Larry the beta again

Chase in the backyard

Ellie

one of my patients

the reception area at work

the governer's mansion

the Kansas sky

2007-10-08T15:41:00.000-05:00

Let's see, lots of stuff coming up. I may have a date later this week. I'm trying not to let myself get too excited...but that's not working so well. The young man in question seems a little too good to be true; interesting, responsible and above all in love with God. I guess we'll see...

Next Thursday I and most of my family will be on a plane to Florida. Kevin and Jessica will be getting married in the Florida Keys on the 13th, as I may have mentioned one or two thousand times already. :o)

Then, on the 20th I will be volunteering at the Black Cat Ball, which is a fundraiser the humane society is throwing to raise money for a desperately needed new building. I'll be working registration, so I'll be free to enjoy most of the festivities! I don't have to buy a ticket, but I do have to buy a formal gown, fun but expensive!

On a related note, I think I'll be staying with my parents for a while longer. I'm already having a little trouble on the months my tuition payments are due, and I'm hoping to take a heavier load next semester. There's no way I can do that and a mortgage as well. I could take out more loans and defer the student loans I already have, but with seminary on the horizon that doesn't seem like a good idea. I'll certainly be making a higher salary as a chaplain, but it's not that much higher. Besides, my parents and I seem to like having each other around.

pro deo et patria

2007-10-08T15:29:00.000-05:00

I got this off of one of the military chaplain blogs I read. I'm not sure why, but I cried and cried the first time I saw it.

the little pink house

2007-09-26T00:41:00.000-05:00

This is the house that got me researching homebuying. I went and talked to a housing counselor who told me that I needed to work on a budget and consider taking out a student loan instead of paying for school out-of-pocket, but that otherwise I'm in good shape to look at buying a house. I'm kind of in love with it. It's got a decent-sized yard that just needs a little more fencing to make it dog-safe. It's 3 minutes from work (I checked). It has a basement (don't forget that I live in Kansas!) The inside is outdated; wood paneling and brown carpet, yuck. But that's easily fixed. Perhaps one of the best things about this place is the neighborhood. It's exactly the area I've been looking at, a nice tree-lined neighborhood close to parks, the zoo, the civic theater and work. And they just dropped the price so that it's even further within my price range. BUT in order to qualify for government assistance I have to attend a class. The next class is in November! I think there are a couple of programs that one of the local banks has that would allow me to qualify for a home loan. I'm torn on what I should do. Is it better to go ahead and try to buy something I love now, or wait and hope to find something I like just as much later?

2007-09-23T21:42:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a sad day at work. It began with a reunion with an old friend from church who brought in her aged dog to see us. The veterinarian determined that Pepper had an advanced stage of cancer. The decision was made to euthanize her.
Then, at the end of the day a co-worker's kitten died during surgery. The kitten had a serious heart condition and the surgery was a last-ditch attempt to correct it, but it was very sad nevertheless.

Prayer for the Animals
by Albert Schweitzer

Hear our humble prayer, O God, for our friends, the animals.
Especially for animals who are suffering; for any that are
hunted or lost or deserted or frightened or hungry;
for all that must be put to death.
We entreat for them all Thy mercy and pity,
and for those who deal with them, we ask a
a heart of compassion and gentle hands and kindly words.
Make us, ourselves, to be true friends to animals,
and so to share the blessings of the merciful.

it's tv premiere season!

2007-09-22T00:21:00.000-05:00

I am way, way too excited about this. You can't tell from the promo, but Numb3rs has some of the best-written, best-acted family interaction on tv. Also lots of attractive guys.

Amy dreams

2007-09-10T15:54:00.000-05:00

I had another Amy dream last night. In these dreams, my aunt Amy is alive and healthy and her illness and death were a mistake or cover-up or otherwise not real. They usually aren't anything dramatic. Just randomly in the middle of another dream Amy will be there and I'll feel a surge of relief and joy. I used to have them almost every night for a while. Haven't had one in a long time, actually. I wonder if I'll always have them from time to time. I don't think I'd mind, the dreams are wonderful. It's the waking up that's hard.

confessions of a seminarian

2007-09-05T12:52:00.000-05:00

http://seminarianblog.com (you'll have to paste to your browser, for some reason the thing that makes the links isn't working for me) (also, yes I know I'm computer illiterate)

I just stumbled on this blog. It's a rational, passionate, logical and compassionate discussion of Christianity. Fascinating.

what this world needs

2007-09-04T22:05:00.000-05:00

What this world needs
Is not another one hit wonder with another ax to grind
Another two bit politician peddling lies
Another three ring circus society

What this world needs
Is not another sign waving super saint who's better than you
Another ear pleasing candy man afraid of the truth
Another prophet in an Armani suit

What this world needs
Is a Savior who will rescue
A Spirit who will lead
A Father who will love them
In their time of need

A Savior who will rescue
A Spirit who will lead
A Father who will love
That's what this world needs

What this world needs
Is for us to care more about the inside, than the outside
If we become so blind that we can't see
God's gotta change her heart before He changes her shirt

What this world needs
Is for us to stop hiding behind our relevance
When we blend so well
That people can't see the difference
And it's the difference that sets the world free

What this world needs
Is a Savior who will rescue
A Spirit who will lead
A Father who will love them
In their time of need

A Savior who will rescue
A Spirit who will lead
A Father who will love
That's what this world needs

People aren't confused by the Gospel
They are confused by us
Jesus is the only way to God
But we are not the only way to Jesus
This world doesn't need my tie, my hoodie,
My denomination or my translation of the Bible
They just need Jesus
We can be passionate about what we believe
But we can't strap ourselves to the Gospel
Because we are slowing it down
Jesus is going to save the world
But maybe the best thing we can do
Is just get out of the way

What this world needs
Is a Savior who will rescue
A Spirit who will lead
A Father who will love them
In their time of need

A Savior who will rescue
A Spirit who will lead
A Father who will love
That's what this world needs
Jesus is our Savior
That's what this world needs
The Father's arms around you
That's what this world needs
That's what this world needs

~Casting Crowns

Here Is Love

2007-09-04T18:26:00.000-05:00

I'm starting Disciple I bible study tonight at Lowman. I'm really looking forward to it!

I had a talk with Kevin about my decision to become a chaplain. He may be my little brother, but he is someone I look up to and I value his opinion. So I was more nervous to tell him about my calling than I have been anyone else. I was a little suprised how enthusiastic he was. We even talked in detail about the possibility of me being a military chaplain, which I haven't done with anyone.