prairie dawn

I need chocolate

2008-07-15T08:33:00.002-05:00

You're nice and intelligent and I don't want to date you.

How am I supposed to deal with attitudes like that? I think I'm done with dating, at least for a while. I just can't take the heartache anymore. What's the point?

a day late and a dollar short

2008-06-18T19:57:00.001-05:00

Congratulations Rachel and Daniel! Charlotte Amelie is precious. I can't tell you how happy I am for you. :o)

new job

2008-05-18T17:31:00.001-05:00

Well it's been a week on the new job. It's even better than I imagined. In addition to learning my new duties, I am encouraged by my clinicians (the doctors in charge) to sit in on lectures and rounds. We discuss current cases, previous cases, studies published in journals and anything pertaining to cardiology. I am soaking it all in and it is wonderful.
My clinicians as well as my resident are all Italian. They worry about their accents but I love it! I am starting to think in an Italian accent though, which is a little worrying. ;o)

update!

2008-04-27T00:59:00.002-05:00

Hi!

I know, I know...it's been a while. But I was waiting until I had something to report and now I do!

Starting May 12 I will be Kansas State University Veterinary Teaching Hospital's cardiology technician. The cardiology service consists of 2 veterinary cardiologists (oddly both are from Italy), myself, a resident or intern and whichever students have elected to take a cardiology rotation. I am going to learn so much; I'm very excited! And once I get a handle on my new skills, I'll be teaching them to the veterinary students and that is even more exciting!
Instead of working nights, weekends and holidays I will be working Monday through Friday 8-5 with no weekends and no on call time. It's going to be nice to join the rest of the world again.

I'm getting about a dollar per hour increase over what I'm earning now, plus State benefits. My doctors are going to help me become certified as a specialist in internal medicine. I've been wanting to specialize for some time, but it's pretty much impossible in private practice.

I'll be commuting for a little while, but I hope to find a house to buy in one of the small towns in the Flint Hills near Manhattan. There are a number of them and the cost of living there is quite a bit less than in Manhattan. With the salary increase and better benefits I have some hope of fulfilling a lifelong dream of mine in the near future. But we'll talk about that later.

Christy, Youth Pastor?

2008-02-13T00:01:00.003-06:00

Last week I decided to stay in Topeka. Tonight my pastor asked me consider applying to be my church's part-time youth pastor. This is something I really want to do and I'm very excited by the prospect! But...I need to slow down a little and give the idea some prayerful consideration before I commit.

Well that's interesting.

2008-02-04T13:17:00.000-06:00

I applied for a teaching position at a vet tech school in St. Louis a couple of weeks ago. I hadn't heard anything, so I just thought they weren't interested. That happens. This morning I got a call and an email about my availability for an interview.
This could be very interesting. I love teaching. I always find someone to mentor wherever I'm at. I actually started my college career as an education major. That changed because, even though I like working with teens, I don't enjoy them so much in packs. Especially in the forced confinement of a high school setting. An Associate's Degree program, however...
I'll have to have a look around, and also see what they're offering in terms of salary and benefits. I already checked and they are fully accredited.

2008-02-04T02:05:00.000-06:00

Well, it has been a while hasn't it?

Let's see, where were we? Mr. Wonderful turned out not to be. The dates we went on were wonderful, magical and everything a girl could wish. And then he stopped calling or taking my calls. And yes he broke my heart, just a little. But I've never experienced a butterflies-in-the-stomach infatuation like that before. It was fun and it was exhilerating while it lasted and I don't regret the time I had with him.

I'm loving my job more than ever. Unfortunately, I don't know how long it's going to last. There are some indications that the hospital is not in a good place financially and the owner is having personal problems as well. I've been looking to buy a house and even completed a homebuyers class through the city. I want to put down roots and really settle down, I've spent all my adult life moving. So I've put my resume in at Hill's, which is a giant pet food corporation here in town. They have excellent benefits and are rumored to have equally excellent salaries for vet techs. I also put in an application to be a tech at the vet school in Lafeyette, Indiana (1.5-2 hours from Chicago). So even as I'm trying to secure a living here in Topeka, I've got one eye out for greener pastures elsewhere.

Rach, I'm so happy for you! I was thinking about treating myself to a trip to Chicago for my birthday in October. The baby should be old enough for short outings by then. I know you have work, but I imagine I can entertain myself pretty well. What do you think? Also, (this is a bribe, have no doubt) I am an excellent baby-sitter. Nanny duty in exchange for sleeping on your couch? Sound tempting?

prayers

2007-11-13T23:11:00.000-06:00

I just got a couple of new prayers at bible study today and thought they were worth sharing:

A Modern Prayer--with Gratitude to St. Francis
Jene Miller

O Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace,

that where there is complacency,
I may disturb

that where there is disturbance,
I may discipline

that where there is indifference,
I may speak judgement

that where there is guilt,
I may speak acceptance

that where there is dehumanization,
I may demand justice

that where there is compromise,
I may demand righteousness

lest men should settle for the peace the world gives

grant, O Divine Savior

that I shall not seek to be popular,
but to be faithful

that I shall not call Thee acceptable to men,
but call men to be acceptable to Thee

that I shall not judge the worth of men by things,
but judge the worth of things by human need

that I shall not be impressed by human titles
but respect quality of character

that I shall not seek the holiness of beauty
but seek the beauty of holiness

that I shall not call only my friends "brother"
but shall call my enemies "brother"

for Thy kingdom, alone, is eternal Amen

For Courage to Do Justice
Alan Paton, South Africa

O Lord,
open my eyes that I may see the needs of others
open my ears that I may hear their cries
open my heart so that they need not be without succor
let me not be afraid to defend the weak because of the anger of the strong
nor afraid to defend the poor because of the anger of the rich
show me where love and hope and faith are needed,
and use me to bring them to those places
and so open my eyes and my ears
that I may this coming day be able to do some work of peace for thee

Sci and Rach, that's odd that your emails aren't getting through. Try kansas_sky(at sign)hotmail.com

Ugh part tres

2007-10-29T19:46:00.000-05:00

Like all good trilogies, this one should wrap up the dangling threads of the previous 2 installments and restore the heroine to her rightful state of bliss, or at least contentedness.

Work: Last Saturday we had an emergency come in. A very sick cat stopped breathing as one of the Dr.s was examining her. So she was rushed into the treatment area and resuscitation measures begun. People, I intubated that cat without any light to see by and then I got a catheter in her tiny, collapsed vein. I'm not bragging when I say these are things only a skilled, experienced vet tech can do. It's just fact. To be honest, I'm a little amazed with myself.

Romance: The young man I was talking about in the last intallment (henceforth to be known as "M") emailed to apologize. Then he asked if we might meet again. If he were anyone else I wouldn't have bothered to respond. But I couldn't say no. And when offered 2 choices of times I chose the earlier one, even though I'm not usually up until an hour or so after said time. (it wasn't crazy early, I just sleep late due to my work schedule) I'm so infatuated with this man, I can barely think straight. Dear readers, those of you who pray, please...I need prayer all over this relationship. Either he is The One or he's really going to break my heart.

canine diabetes insipidus

2007-10-29T11:53:00.001-05:00

Well, we figured out what's going on with Sweetie. She's got a rare disorder called Diabetes Insipidus. I copied the following from vetinfo.com.

Diabetes Insipidus

Diabetes insipidus is a disorder in which the kidney is insensitive to a hormone, called anti-diuretic hormone (ADH) or in which there is not sufficient quantity of this hormone available. The result is excessive drinking and urination, or polydipsia and polyuria. This is one cause of changes in urinary habits that leads to problems with urination inside the house in dogs in which "housebreaking" seemed to be satisfactory prior to the disease onset.

ADH is secreted by the body when it has a need to conserve water. It makes the kidneys work harder to conserve water, which makes the urine more concentrated. When the dog can not respond to this hormone or doesn't make enough of it, the dog can not concentrate its urine. This can lead to serious problems, including death, if the dog does not have access to large quantities of water. On the other hand, it may not cause any significant problem if there is always plenty of water available. This problem can occur for a number of reasons and for no reason at all.

I'm not unhappy with this diagnosis. It's good to know what's going on with her, and not really that difficult to manage.

Ugh: part 2

2007-10-22T22:29:00.000-05:00

You know what, it's been a rotten couple of days.

I took my 11 year old pug to work with me yesterday to try and figure out why she's been drinking and urinating more than usual. All of the tests I ran on her were inconclusive. On the one hand that means that there's probably nothing drastically wrong. On the other hand, if I don't know what's wrong, I can't fix it either.

I lost a patient yesterday. He was in for a procedure to fix a problem that was making him sick. It was a procedure that had to be done, or else he wouldn't have survived for more than a couple more days. The anesthesia went well, and although the procedure was more complicated than usual, due to him being obese, it was ultimately successful. The doctor had stepped away, I had the patient on pure oxygen and was giving him fluids under the skin. And he just went into cardiac arrest. We did CPR on him for about a half an hour before we had to give up. Depressing and frustrating.

I thought I was going to have a 2nd date with this incredible guy tomorrow. I was so excited about this guy. I never let myself get excited about anyone, especially this early. But I did. We had a wonderful first date. He emailed last week asking when I'd like to meet again. I sent him a suggestion right away for tomorrow and I haven't heard from him since.

Then, of course, the paper from my last post. I thought I was completely prepared to write it. I'd read all the assignments, or so I thought. I'm a fairly confident writer and I had all day, so I wasn't really worried about getting it done today. Then this morning I just could not get out of bed. Wasted a good portion of the day. But I still had more than enough time, I thought. So I got my source materials out and sat down with the essay questions. Which asked me to draw heavily on a book I hadn't read. Somehow I missed that in the reading assignments. So I sat staring a the blinking curser for a while before I gave up. It's just not happening today, it's going to have to be late. What a great start to my second career.

A friend invited me over to her home today. I didn't really want to go, but I knew I needed to get out of the house. At the end of her driveway is a fire hydrant. Which I managed to back into. I jury-rigged it with the string from my hoodie, so I was able to drive home without my back bumper dragging on the road. This is going to cost me money I don't exactly have, because...

Before I went to Kevin's wedding I went to the office manager and asked to use up my personal days on this vacation. I planned my budget accordingly. Well, my paycheck did not have my personal days on it, just the one day that I'd worked before I left. I, very nicely, brought this to the office manager's attention. Still, nothing was done. And now my checking account is in the negative. My paycheck tomorrow morning had better be nice and fat. I have worked too hard to get my credit back in shape... Not to mention that I still owe Mom money for the dog kennel and my bumper is going to cost a fortune.

Ugh

2007-10-22T17:25:00.000-05:00

I have an essay due today which I've been largely ignoring because of Kevin's wedding. Now that I've actually sat down to write it, my brain is refusing to kick into gear.

if I could go right now...

2007-10-20T00:01:00.001-05:00

pic from Kevin's travel blog

2007-10-19T12:25:00.000-05:00

Kevin and Jess are keeping a travel blog. One of the hotels they're staying at in Singapore has a rooftop swimming pool...

Kevin's wedding

2007-10-16T14:53:00.000-05:00

birthday present!

2007-10-08T17:28:00.000-05:00

My parents got me a shiny new digital camera for an early birthday present! Which means lots of new pictures for my blog! Yay! (oh, how I pity you, dear readers)

Larry the beta says hello

Larry the beta again

Chase in the backyard

Ellie

one of my patients

the reception area at work

the governer's mansion

the Kansas sky

2007-10-08T15:41:00.000-05:00

Let's see, lots of stuff coming up. I may have a date later this week. I'm trying not to let myself get too excited...but that's not working so well. The young man in question seems a little too good to be true; interesting, responsible and above all in love with God. I guess we'll see...

Next Thursday I and most of my family will be on a plane to Florida. Kevin and Jessica will be getting married in the Florida Keys on the 13th, as I may have mentioned one or two thousand times already. :o)

Then, on the 20th I will be volunteering at the Black Cat Ball, which is a fundraiser the humane society is throwing to raise money for a desperately needed new building. I'll be working registration, so I'll be free to enjoy most of the festivities! I don't have to buy a ticket, but I do have to buy a formal gown, fun but expensive!

On a related note, I think I'll be staying with my parents for a while longer. I'm already having a little trouble on the months my tuition payments are due, and I'm hoping to take a heavier load next semester. There's no way I can do that and a mortgage as well. I could take out more loans and defer the student loans I already have, but with seminary on the horizon that doesn't seem like a good idea. I'll certainly be making a higher salary as a chaplain, but it's not that much higher. Besides, my parents and I seem to like having each other around.

pro deo et patria

2007-10-08T15:29:00.000-05:00

I got this off of one of the military chaplain blogs I read. I'm not sure why, but I cried and cried the first time I saw it.

the little pink house

2007-09-26T00:41:00.000-05:00

This is the house that got me researching homebuying. I went and talked to a housing counselor who told me that I needed to work on a budget and consider taking out a student loan instead of paying for school out-of-pocket, but that otherwise I'm in good shape to look at buying a house. I'm kind of in love with it. It's got a decent-sized yard that just needs a little more fencing to make it dog-safe. It's 3 minutes from work (I checked). It has a basement (don't forget that I live in Kansas!) The inside is outdated; wood paneling and brown carpet, yuck. But that's easily fixed. Perhaps one of the best things about this place is the neighborhood. It's exactly the area I've been looking at, a nice tree-lined neighborhood close to parks, the zoo, the civic theater and work. And they just dropped the price so that it's even further within my price range. BUT in order to qualify for government assistance I have to attend a class. The next class is in November! I think there are a couple of programs that one of the local banks has that would allow me to qualify for a home loan. I'm torn on what I should do. Is it better to go ahead and try to buy something I love now, or wait and hope to find something I like just as much later?

2007-09-23T21:42:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a sad day at work. It began with a reunion with an old friend from church who brought in her aged dog to see us. The veterinarian determined that Pepper had an advanced stage of cancer. The decision was made to euthanize her.
Then, at the end of the day a co-worker's kitten died during surgery. The kitten had a serious heart condition and the surgery was a last-ditch attempt to correct it, but it was very sad nevertheless.

Prayer for the Animals
by Albert Schweitzer

Hear our humble prayer, O God, for our friends, the animals.
Especially for animals who are suffering; for any that are
hunted or lost or deserted or frightened or hungry;
for all that must be put to death.
We entreat for them all Thy mercy and pity,
and for those who deal with them, we ask a
a heart of compassion and gentle hands and kindly words.
Make us, ourselves, to be true friends to animals,
and so to share the blessings of the merciful.

it's tv premiere season!

2007-09-22T00:21:00.000-05:00

I am way, way too excited about this. You can't tell from the promo, but Numb3rs has some of the best-written, best-acted family interaction on tv. Also lots of attractive guys.

Amy dreams

2007-09-10T15:54:00.000-05:00

I had another Amy dream last night. In these dreams, my aunt Amy is alive and healthy and her illness and death were a mistake or cover-up or otherwise not real. They usually aren't anything dramatic. Just randomly in the middle of another dream Amy will be there and I'll feel a surge of relief and joy. I used to have them almost every night for a while. Haven't had one in a long time, actually. I wonder if I'll always have them from time to time. I don't think I'd mind, the dreams are wonderful. It's the waking up that's hard.

confessions of a seminarian

2007-09-05T12:52:00.000-05:00

http://seminarianblog.com (you'll have to paste to your browser, for some reason the thing that makes the links isn't working for me) (also, yes I know I'm computer illiterate)

I just stumbled on this blog. It's a rational, passionate, logical and compassionate discussion of Christianity. Fascinating.

what this world needs

2007-09-04T22:05:00.000-05:00

What this world needs
Is not another one hit wonder with another ax to grind
Another two bit politician peddling lies
Another three ring circus society

What this world needs
Is not another sign waving super saint who's better than you
Another ear pleasing candy man afraid of the truth
Another prophet in an Armani suit

What this world needs
Is a Savior who will rescue
A Spirit who will lead
A Father who will love them
In their time of need

A Savior who will rescue
A Spirit who will lead
A Father who will love
That's what this world needs

What this world needs
Is for us to care more about the inside, than the outside
If we become so blind that we can't see
God's gotta change her heart before He changes her shirt

What this world needs
Is for us to stop hiding behind our relevance
When we blend so well
That people can't see the difference
And it's the difference that sets the world free

What this world needs
Is a Savior who will rescue
A Spirit who will lead
A Father who will love them
In their time of need

A Savior who will rescue
A Spirit who will lead
A Father who will love
That's what this world needs

People aren't confused by the Gospel
They are confused by us
Jesus is the only way to God
But we are not the only way to Jesus
This world doesn't need my tie, my hoodie,
My denomination or my translation of the Bible
They just need Jesus
We can be passionate about what we believe
But we can't strap ourselves to the Gospel
Because we are slowing it down
Jesus is going to save the world
But maybe the best thing we can do
Is just get out of the way

What this world needs
Is a Savior who will rescue
A Spirit who will lead
A Father who will love them
In their time of need

A Savior who will rescue
A Spirit who will lead
A Father who will love
That's what this world needs
Jesus is our Savior
That's what this world needs
The Father's arms around you
That's what this world needs
That's what this world needs

~Casting Crowns

Here Is Love

2007-09-04T18:26:00.000-05:00

I'm starting Disciple I bible study tonight at Lowman. I'm really looking forward to it!

I had a talk with Kevin about my decision to become a chaplain. He may be my little brother, but he is someone I look up to and I value his opinion. So I was more nervous to tell him about my calling than I have been anyone else. I was a little suprised how enthusiastic he was. We even talked in detail about the possibility of me being a military chaplain, which I haven't done with anyone.

school, church and the future

2007-09-01T17:18:00.000-05:00

a baby bald eagle getting banded last spring

School's going well so far. I've taken 2 quizes in my Forensic Psychology class, with scores of 100% and 96%. Not bad if I do say so myself!
My first paper for History of Ideas is due near the end of the month. I've read most of the pertinent chapters of the course guidebook. Now I just have to sit down and watch the dvd lectures. It shouldn't be so bad, I mean I'll be attended my college lecture on my couch... I'm slightly frightened about my first paper. The guidelines are really loose. Now that I've read most of the assigned reading, the questions I'm to answer make a lot more sense (as one would hope, right?) but it's the form I'm more worried about. But the other students who have taken this prof's classes say that he is kind and fair, so that gives me hope.

I was officially welcomed into Lowman United Methodist Church last Saturday. The ceremony was more involved than I had thought it would be, and it was wonderful! The Pastoral Assistant (a retired pastor who usually does our Saturday service), the Senior Pastor and the Lay Leader all took part. I've been bouncing around churches for years, it's so nice to be a member of a congregation again.

I've been reading blogs of military chaplains lately. I keep telling myself that I'm not even in Seminary yet and it's far too soon to settle on anything. And could I really lay aside my freedoms (the military tells you where to live, how to dress, what you can talk about, etc.) and possibly my life? I don't know. I am definitely feeling a pull, however.
My grandfathers, father and 2 uncles served in the military. (chaplains join the military as officers, and I have to admit that I find the idea of outranking my uncles to be kind of hilarious) I have considered the idea of a military career a few times over the years, but I knew that it was not in me to learn how to kill someone. Military chaplains are never to use a gun. They are assigned chaplain's assistants who not only help the chaplain, but serve as bodyguards as well. I have such respect for the men and women who choose this life. They give up a lot, even if they never see a war zone. To be able to serve them would be a wonderful thing.

bread

2007-08-20T19:14:00.000-05:00

a little better shot of the top of the braided bread

different kinds of food

2007-08-20T18:55:00.000-05:00

A young fan watches as

Mom, Dad and their friend Cindy play hammered dulcimer and guitar at Potwin's Night Out Against Crime. I'm sure the criminals turned and ran at the first strains of traditional dulcimer music!

my viola and the sheet music I'm currently working on

The bread I baked my very own self from scratch! I am not world's most domestic person by a long shot, but there was something positively spiritual about making that bread. I made three loaves, one traditional, one round, and one braided.

Stardust

2007-08-15T12:30:00.000-05:00

I saw Stardust last night. I absolutely recommend this to anyone, especially anyone who enjoyed the Princess Bride. I was completely enchanted.

I am now a student at Fort Hays University's online program. I've enrolled in 2 classes this semester: History of Ideas 1870 to the Present and Current Topics: Forensic Psychology. I'm excited and a little scared. Lord, please don't let me screw this up...

On a lighter note, is it a coincidence that the day I enroll in school again I wrote my first poem in months and months? I'm thinking no.

oh sure, he looks cute

2007-08-10T23:35:00.000-05:00

...but let me tell you, this is a vicious beast. A Godless Killing Machine, also known as a groundhog, wrested himself from my grasp and inflicted a horrible wound on my left shoulder today. Ok, it was more like a little nip, but why let the facts ruin a perfectly good story? I love my job!

Prelude

2007-08-07T23:24:00.000-05:00

Spent some time today working Predude from Bach's Suite No.1 for unaccompanied cello. Fortunately, some wonderful person transposed this piece for viola and put it up on a viola site that lets you print off sheet music for free. The first part was easy, it's a familiar tune (I'll see if I can't find it and put it up here sometime) and moderately simple to play. But the second section I'm not so familiar with. And it ends in treble clef. A violist's natural language is alto clef. I've learned some treble through the years out of necessity, but it's kind of like my Spanish. I can make it out, but it takes a while. It's such a pretty piece, I think it will be well worth the work, though.

So here's an odd thing. When I first did my pre-interview for Hill's, they informed me that I would be recieving an email in about 2 weeks telling me whether or not I would be "moving ahead in the process." Within 2 days, they had called me to let me know they wanted to arrange a face-to-face interview. Then they called back and said their time slots for interviews were all filled up and they would call me later to make arrangements. Then I didn't hear anything. Then, just when I was about to call them, I got a form email saying that they 'regret to inform you that you have not been selected for this position.' I'm honestly more puzzled than disappointed. I mean, the bump in pay and benefits would have been nice, but I really enjoy what I'm doing now. The whole process just strikes me as a bit chaotic and bizarre. Oh well, que sera, sera!

Rolling River God
Little Stones are smooth
Only once the water passes through
So I am a stone
rough and grainy still
Trying to reconcile this river's chill

But when I close my eyes
and feel you rushing by
I know that time brings change
and change takes time
And when the sunset comes
my prayer would be just this one
that you might pick me up
and notice that I am
just a little smoother in your hand

~River God, Nichole Nordeman

spider pig, spider pig...

2007-08-06T18:39:00.000-05:00

...does whatever a spider pig does. I'm never going to get that out of my head.

I spent a good part of the day picking out various hymns and praise choruses out on my viola. Poor thing, I've been neglecting her for a while. It was very nice to be playing again. My Mom's mandolin teacher, who works with quite a few local musicians, seemed very interested when I told her that I play viola. Maybe I ought to see about taking lessons from her as well. She teaches...just about every stringed instrument. Don't think she's ever played viola, but she's a classically trained violinist. I think I mostly need someone to hold me accountable for regular practicing. I'm sure she could give me some great pointers on my technique, and if she could help me network with the local traditional music community, that'd definitely be a plus.

Meyer's-Briggs

2007-08-05T23:06:00.000-05:00

I've gotten the same result every time I've taken a Meyers-Briggs survey. (I actually had to take one for work once)

The Idealist

As an INFP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.

INFPs, more than other iNtuitive Feeling types, are focused on making the world a better place for people. Their primary goal is to find out their meaning in life. What is their purpose? How can they best serve humanity in their lives? They are idealists and perfectionists, who drive themselves hard in their quest for achieving the goals they have identified for themselves

INFPs are highly intuitive about people. They rely heavily on their intuitions to guide them, and use their discoveries to constantly search for value in life. They are on a continuous mission to find the truth and meaning underlying things. Every encounter and every piece of knowledge gained gets sifted through the INFP's value system, and is evaluated to see if it has any potential to help the INFP define or refine their own path in life. The goal at the end of the path is always the same - the INFP is driven to help people and make the world a better place.

Generally thoughtful and considerate, INFPs are good listeners and put people at ease. Although they may be reserved in expressing emotion, they have a very deep well of caring and are genuinely interested in understanding people. This sincerity is sensed by others, making the INFP a valued friend and confidante. An INFP can be quite warm with people he or she knows well.

INFPs do not like conflict, and go to great lengths to avoid it. If they must face it, they will always approach it from the perspective of their feelings. In conflict situations, INFPs place little importance on who is right and who is wrong. They focus on the way that the conflict makes them feel, and indeed don't really care whether or not they're right. They don't want to feel badly. This trait sometimes makes them appear irrational and illogical in conflict situations. On the other hand, INFPs make very good mediators, and are typically good at solving other people's conflicts, because they intuitively understand people's perspectives and feelings, and genuinely want to help them.

INFPs are flexible and laid-back, until one of their values is violated. In the face of their value system being threatened, INFPs can become aggressive defenders, fighting passionately for their cause. When an INFP has adopted a project or job which they're interested in, it usually becomes a "cause" for them. Although they are not detail-oriented individuals, they will cover every possible detail with determination and vigor when working for their "cause".

When it comes to the mundane details of life maintenance, INFPs are typically completely unaware of such things. They might go for long periods without noticing a stain on the carpet, but carefully and meticulously brush a speck of dust off of their project booklet.

INFPs do not like to deal with hard facts and logic. Their focus on their feelings and the Human Condition makes it difficult for them to deal with impersonal judgment. They don't understand or believe in the validity of impersonal judgment, which makes them naturally rather ineffective at using it. Most INFPs will avoid impersonal analysis, although some have developed this ability and are able to be quite logical. Under stress, it's not uncommon for INFPs to mis-use hard logic in the heat of anger, throwing out fact after (often inaccurate) fact in an emotional outburst.

INFPs have very high standards and are perfectionists. Consequently, they are usually hard on themselves, and don't give themselves enough credit. INFPs may have problems working on a project in a group, because their standards are likely to be higher than other members' of the group. In group situations, they may have a "control" problem. The INFP needs to work on balancing their high ideals with the requirements of every day living. Without resolving this conflict, they will never be happy with themselves, and they may become confused and paralyzed about what to do with their lives.

INFPs are usually talented writers. They may be awkard and uncomfortable with expressing themselves verbally, but have a wonderful ability to define and express what they're feeling on paper. INFPs also appear frequently in social service professions, such as counselling or teaching. They are at their best in situations where they're working towards the public good, and in which they don't need to use hard logic.

INFPs who function in their well-developed sides can accomplish great and wonderful things, which they will rarely give themselves credit for. Some of the great, humanistic catalysts in the world have been INFPs.

because I'm bored

2007-08-05T22:22:00.001-05:00

Beliefnet quiz results

Are you comfortable being single?
beliefnet says...

You are fairly ensconced in a comfortable single life, although you have your moments when you pine for that special someone. Take heart--your ability to go with the flow only makes you more attractive.

What element are you?
beliefnet says...

The Water Person I added my own comments in italics
The Water person feels first and foremost. "Thinking never solved anything-only our hearts should be our guides!" (that doesn't work so well in medicine!) She has a great facility with feeling; she is compassionate, caring, and a great listener. Water people can be wonderful therapists. They "go with the flow," but don't flit about like Air people. Their movements have a definite path, albeit an often unexpected one.
The Water person's open heart makes her generous, and her empathy can make her quite social, although not all Water people are "bubbly." She is often very dreamy, and can be mystical. Among magical folk, Water people might meditate, light incense, take steamy baths, wear consecrated herb bags, and so on.*gasp* how did they know, why I'm wearing my favorite consecrated herb bag at this very moment! @@ Water people are often artistic as well, and are especially found among painters and musicians.
Water people often move with a sensual grace that reminds one of their element, and often have wide, open eyes, the kind that look deep and liquid. Hee! not so much Very Watery people often dress in flowing clothes or have flowing accessories. They can have a mysterious quality that is compelling to those around them. yup, I'm a special, special snowflake...just like everyone else! Some Water people are dark, brooding, and perhaps even silent, an inward rather than outward Water manifestation.
Romance comes naturally to Water people; aaaahahahahahaha! they give and receive love easily. Some share themselves effusively, and some are very secretive, withholding information while being open with emotion. Perhaps surprisingly, not all romantic Water types are particularly sexual; many find the physicality of sex to be a distraction from love's emotional and spiritual nature.
All that feeling can lead to its share of problems. Depression and addiction are Watery illnesses, and flowing with dark, negative feelings can make some Water people irrational, or even psychotic. More likely, the Water person will simply be prone to tears, often needing to "get serious" at moments when others would prefer to be lighthearted. sounds like fun! yay! They can be as inconsistent as the tides, changing their minds the way Earth people change their socks. Their wonderful sensitivity can go overboard, making them perceive every offhand remark as a major emotional statement.
The Water person can choose to balance herself. Water needs to be offset by rationality, decisiveness, and groundedness. With some balance, the Water person can follow her flowing nature, and be happier for it. glub

Find your spiritual path
(a camping related quiz)
beliefnet says...

Nuts About NatureYou love camaraderie and campfires, but it's nature that's your spiritual space. Many groups practice in nature and incorporate it into their daily spiritual lives. Get out there and get involved!

Blogthings' World's Shortest Personality Test

Your Personality Profile

You are dependable, popular, and observant.Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness.In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do.
You are unique, creative, and expressive.You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while.And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

The'>http://www.blogthings.com/worldsshortestpersonalitytest/">The World's Shortest Personality Test

Kevin's job

2007-08-04T18:33:00.000-05:00

This is my baby brother Kevin at work. He and his fiance are travelling the country doing sea lion shows at fairs.

The lovely Jessica, soon to be my sister-in-law.

Minnie, Sparks and Zoe...I think.

Isn't she precious?

anger and forgiveness

2007-08-04T18:14:00.000-05:00

90% of the time my boss is a great guy. But sometimes he throws temper tantrums. Yesterday I happened to get caught up in one. He yelled at a group of employees that happened to include me, then he followed me and and yelled at me personally. Needless to say I was upset, and still am. I know he's already over it. I really want to hold onto my anger and call it righteous. But anger makes for a dangerous pet. The more you feed it and protect it, the more it steals your peace and joy.
I looked up "forgive" at BibleGateway.com, an online concordance. There were 122 results. I copied and pasted the ones that were the most helpful to me.

Matthew 18:21-35

21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"

22Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.[f]

23"Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents[g] was brought to him. 25Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

26"The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' 27The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
28"But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii.[h] He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.

29"His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'

30"But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.

32"Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' 34In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

35"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

Mark 11:25-26

25 And whenever you stand (A) praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive (B) him, so that your Father (C) in heaven (D) will also forgive (E) you your wrongdoing 26But if you don't forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your wrongdoing."

Luke 6: 27-42

27 "But I say to you who listen: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. (X) 29 If anyone hits you on the cheek, (Y) offer the other also. And if anyone takes away your coat, don't hold back your shirt either. 30 Give to everyone who asks from you, and from one who takes away your things, don't ask for them back. 31 Just as you want others to do for you, do the same for them. (Z) 32 If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. (AA) 33 If you do [what is] good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? (AB) Even sinners lend to sinners to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do [what is] good, and lend, expecting nothing in return. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. (AC) For He is gracious to the ungrateful and evil. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful. (AD)

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. (AE) Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. (AF) 38 Give, and it will be given to you; a good measure;pressed down, shaken together, and running over;will be poured into your lap. (AG) For with the measure you use, [g] it will be measured back to you." (AH)
39 He also told them a parable: "Can the blind guide the blind? Won't they both fall into a pit? (AI) 40 A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher. (AJ)
41 "Why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but don't notice the log in your own eye? 42 Or how can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,' when you yourself don't see the log in your eye? Hypocrite! First take the log out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck in your brother's eye.

Picture Post!

2007-08-03T14:23:00.000-05:00

Three of my five 'children'.

Miss Ellie
I adopted Ellie out of the Norfolk SPCA when I worked there. I met her when she was still in quarantine. She never made it to the adoption floor, it was love at first sight!

Chase

I was thinking about whether or not to get Sweetie a friend in 2002, when a friend of mine who was running Sweetie and my obedience class showed up with Chase in the back of her SUV. She said, "I just got him out of the pound. If you don't want him, you have to help me find him a home." He got his name because he took off like a shot and we spent most of our class time chasing him down.

Sweetie bug

Sweetie was supposed to be a show pug. But she ended up in the hands of someone who didn't appreciate her, so her breeder took her back and then gave her to me. She's 11 years old now and enjoys spending her time snoozing and trying to get me to feed her a little sooner every day.

am I blue?

2007-08-01T23:53:00.000-05:00

yes I'm blue

I was supposed to be flying to Orlando at the end of the week for a brief but much-needed visit with my cousins, Emma and Cora. After their Mom, my aunt died in October of 2005, I helped their Dad take care of them. I essentially co-parented them for about a year. Then, last October they moved to Florida and soon after I moved home to Kansas. I know I did the right thing. I don't like Orlando. I don't much like the heat of living in the South. I did a lot of healing in Kansas that I don't think could have occured as quickly anywhere else. But I miss those girls every single day. Sometimes I miss them so much it hurts. But due to some unforseen expenses earlier this year, I won't be going to visit this week.
I will see them in October when we go to my brother's wedding. It will be almost exactly a year since the last time I saw them. We still talk and text pretty often. But it's not the same, of course. I never understood when someone said that their heart was elsewhere with another person. I do now, all too well.

my latest instrumental craving

2007-07-31T13:28:00.000-05:00

My Mom's latest issue of "Dulcimer Times" included an article on something called the "bowed dulcimer." It looked so medieval that I had to check it out. I'm afraid I may have fallen in love. I've played the viola off and on since the fourth grade. The bowed dulcimer sounds a bit like a viola but with a more reedy, rustic sound that would go so well with the traditional American and Celtic music that I love to play. Unfortunately, the least expensive model I've found is nearly $700, which is well beyond my budget. Oh well, we all need something just out of our reach to daydream about, right?

a new beginning?

2007-07-30T23:36:00.000-05:00

Fort Hays University should be receiving my KU and Colby CC transcripts within the week. If they deem them acceptable, I'll be enrolling in one or more online classes. Ft. Hays offers several Bachelor's degrees online, so I'll be meeting online or over the phone with an admisisons counselor to find the right one for me. My criteria are 1) uses as many of the credits I already have as possible and 2) easy. Seminaries only care that I have a Bachelor's from an accredited institution. The Bachelor's in Organizational Leadership looks promising. They will also work with you to customize a Bachelor's in General Education. Hmmm...I wonder if I could get by with Advanced Cat Herding, or perhaps Theories in Navel Gazing?